How to Detect and Avoid Predators

 

The quickest way to detect abusive persons and patterns is when a person has abused you or someone else discloses abuse by that person. While an alleged victim may not appear credible it is better to proceed with caution in these situations since abusers are smart and often target victims who they don’t think will be believed.

 

However, if our goal is abuse prevention then we want to avoid abusers before they have an opportunity to abuse. Anna Salter’s book "Predators" provides great insight into tactics that are used to lure and subdue victims. She suggests that some sexual predators will create scenarios that cast doubt on their victim’s stories and wait patiently for opportunities to abuse that will be harder to convict.

 

It is also important to understand warning signs of abuse. Depending on your background you may take for granted that certain behaviours are “normal” when they may be indicators of abuse. Even if you’re in a long term relationship it is still good to refer to “Red Flags.” Most articles focus on these in terms of relationships, but they are also relevant in detecting abuse outside of relationships you are in.

 

Examples:

http://www.lfcc.on.ca/Red_flags_for_unhealthy_relationships.pdf Provides a checklist on various behaviour that should be considered a warning sign for abuse. Specifically important is any controlling behaviour or derogatory language towards partners, ex’s or others.

 

http://www.lfcc.on.ca/HCT_SWASM_4.html Provides 11 characteristics of abusive men that can be helpful to victims that are in denial of their abuse.

 

12 Red Flags Not to Ignore When You’re Dating Starts with “He Mentions Sex on the First Date

Men have sex on their minds and sometimes they can’t help but voice their carnal intentions. This is normal: A man’s spoken desire to rip your clothes off may even turn you on. However, if all he seems to talk about from date one is getting you in his bed, he may take you for a floozy. When “let’s get busy” comes before “what’s your name?” it’s a sign that he’s only interested in getting to know you on a sexual, not personal, level.”

 

While this last source provides general “dating advice” much of it is applicable in identifying and avoiding abuse.

 

There is ample advice on the internet for those who are interested in learning more.